Month: January 2020

 

Why?

Six times in my New Living Translation Bible Job asks, Why?

Why was I not stillborn…

Why did the knees receive me,

and Why were there breasts for me to nurse…

Why was I not hidden like a miscarried child…

Why is light given to one burdened with grief…

Why is life given to a man whose path is hidden…

These were the why’s Job asked, questioning his very existence. His very life.

Who can blame him? He’d lost just about everything but the beat of his heart and the breath in His lungs simply because God chose to preserve his life.

And, my friend, no matter what you’ve lost, no matter what you’re going through, if you’re drawing breath then you can believe God still has a purpose for you on this earth. You may not know what it is right now, but God never abandons the work of His hands. He will not leave you in your hard forever. 

I’ve heard Christians say we shouldn’t ask God why. It’s a lack of trust in His Sovereignty.

Just to let you know, I’m not sure I agree.

Maybe it is a lack of trust, or unbelief, but I’m a very human, very frail, very imperfect person.

Not to mention I’m very emotional, too. I’d like to call it passion, but…(that’s a why for another day.)

Still, I’m not afraid to ask God the why’s. I may not always get an answer, but sometimes life is just hard. Or plain not fair. It’s in seasons of hard things we can’t help but wonder what in the world God is doing. What His plan is. What His purpose is in it all.

If I’m to be completely honest, I don’t just have why’s. There are when’s. And where’s.  And what’s. And how’s. I’m the queen of questions. A terrible what-iffer, too.

If I–who has never experienced the grief and trauma of Job–can ask why, then I’m going to cut Job some slack.

As far as I’m concerned, he could ask all the why’s he wanted.

I know God reserves the right to answer to my questions. I don’t believe He minds me asking. And I believe I can ask as many times as I want, but I’ve learned to be satisfied when He chooses not to reveal it all. Sometimes the greater purpose is just to build my faith in Him to see me through. Carry me through. Give me all I need to sustain me.

God has given us so much in Scripture to help us understand who He is and to help us through our times of trials and suffering, but seeking is all part of His plan.

“Seek the Lord while He may be found, call on Him while He is near…

‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways’, declares the Lord.

‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'” Isaiah 55:6,8-9

Even knowing God is Sovereign and above all things, He still knows I’m human.

Sometimes I think it actually grows my faith to ask.

Because I’m still talking to God. Instead of running from Him, I’m running to Him.

Somehow, in all the questions, in all the why’s, in all the seeking, I find Him.

Him.

The One who has all the answers I need.

The One who doesn’t just hear me. He listens. Because He cares.

I don’t know how it happens, but in the  midst of all my why’s He Himself becomes the only answer I need.

Because life and hard things just make no sense without Him.

There will be no peace in the storm.

No purpose for the pain.

No plan on the wilderness road.

No Presence through fire.

So if it’s okay with you, I’ll keep asking the why’s.

Because I’m a seeker and sometimes that’s what God-seekers do.

God has never let me down. I’ve never failed to find Him when I seek Him with all my heart.

And sometimes for me, it all starts with why.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on His, because He cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:6-7

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…” James 4:8

This photo isn’t mine. I found it on Pinterest so I don’t know who to credit, but it’s a simple mantra that I had on repeat throughout most of 2019.

My husband and I decided to sell our old farmhouse in a small town in North Carolina not far from Raleigh and move back to the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains where we would be near my parents and his mom.

Moving is no joke, but prepping a 119-year old farmhouse made the process even tougher. There were days I could hardly move my body hurt so bad, but   I look back on it now and undoubtedly know it was God who supplied my every need.

Because of Him, we did it. We made it. We conquered it.

And now I’m living in that sweet place of peace and saying,

“Well done, Lord. Well done.”

As I worked hard on our old house last year–hence, my absence here on the blog– I also worked hard digging into the book of Job. It seemed fitting.

Our 12 years in North Carolina didn’t go quite like we planned and we encountered some really hard things together. Some of the hardest things I’ve experienced in my faith walk, but I can look back and see so much growth.

I’ve processed a lot. I’ve professed a lot. I’ve compressed a lot.

But I want  you to know…

I have lived in the goodness of God.

I thought I would start my journey back into the blog world by sharing my thoughts on Job. Some of these thoughts I’ve written about on my Instagram feed as well as my ministry page on Facebook, Reflections On The Word. Somehow I did manage to share a few things here and there, but consistency wasn’t a discipline.

I’ve learned over the years that one of the most important things that keeps me grounded in seasons of hard things  is staying in the Word of God. It builds me up and encourages that “I-can-mentality.” Not only do I learn more of who God is and what makes Him God, but I discover who I am as His child.

And really…this man Job? He’s the stuff of legends. Even when it seemed he was losing all hope, he kept going back to what he knew was true about God.

If Job could get through the hard, just about ANYbody could, if the “I-can” is there.

Can you really grasp how much Job lost in so little time?

Boom. All the animals and farmhands. Save one messenger.

Boom. All the sheep and shepherds. Save one messenger.

Boom. All the camels and servants. Save one messenger.

Boom. All his children. Save one messenger.

Just like that.

In a matter of minutes.

While one messenger delivered the news another appeared.

No time to think.

No time to process.

So Job did the only thing he knew to do in that moment.

He praised.

And I realized…I am so not like Job.

‘Cause the first thing I usually do is whine.

Or complain.

Or get angry.

Or afraid.

Not Job, though.

Even God knew “he is the finest man in all the earth–a man of complete integrity. He fears God and will have nothing to do with evil.” Job 1:1, 8

God said that.

About Job.

And I thought…what does God say about me?

As if losing all his wealth and his children wasn’t enough, one day soon after, Job lost his health.

But even stricken with painful boils he maintained his integrity.

He maintained his fear of God.

He still held God in high esteem.

“He said, ‘Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?’ So in all this, Job said nothing wrong.” Job 1:22

No whining.

No complaining.

No fussing.

No anger.

No fear.

Just worship. In those first few moments, Job remembered the essence of what sets God apart and that is this…

God is Sovereign.

I’m completely humbled.

Because in all honesty, I can hardly process the hard things when they come one at a time.

How in the name of heaven would I process, with integrity, the boom-boom-booms of life?!?

But God knew Job.

His heart. His faith.

And God knows me.

He knows what I can handle.

He knows deep down in my heart I want to handle hard things with faith.

God will always be Sovereign.

Above all things. In control of all things. Creator of all things.

And He is holy. This is at the heart of worship.

There are so many good things to focus on about God, but His holiness?

It’s what sets Him apart.

There is no evil in God. No sin. If not for the blood of Jesus, I know my sin would separate me from Him forever and this just wrecks me. So when bad things happen? I know it isn’t because God has forgotten me or doesn’t love me or because He doesn’t care.

Hard things will come to us on this earth and bad things do happen to good people, but God stays true to His character. He never changes and even though we can’t always understand the reasons why bad things come to us, we can trust that God will walk beside us through every storm and every fire and He will give us all we need to sustain us.

I once thought nothing good could ever come from the loss of my eye and the loss of my hearing, but as I’ve grown up in my faith I can honestly tell you that God has been so, so good to me.

And I know He loves me.

Even in the hard things I still believe it. I’ve been an I-can-kinda-girl for as long as I remember. God has never let me down. He’s given me all I need to navigate my days in this hearing-seeing world with grace.

When the trials come, I go back to this.

His goodness really is a blessed thing.

“Every day I call to You, my God, but You do not answer, Every night You hear my voice, but I find no relief.

Yet, You are holy. The praises of Israel surround Your throne.

Our ancestors trust in You, and You rescued them.

You heard their cries for help and saved them. They put their trust in You and we’re never disappointed.” Psalm 22:2-5

YET, God is holy.

Even in life’s fiercest battles.

Even in the boom-boom-booms of life.

God is still God.

And in the hard things I want to be more like Job and remember this.

I want learn to praise first.

If I do nothing else, I know I CAN do this.